Prison Life

          Prison life  

For the vast majority prison life is foreign to them and what goes on in those institutions. But for some 3,700 citizens of this country, everyday prison life is a reality. Many people think that prison life is a holiday camp, but I can assure you that when you hear those heavy doors clang behind you, even on visitation, it is a sound that remains in your memory.  Visiting prisoners is one of the Corporal Works of Mercy, values not spoken about too often in these days, but still as essential as when they were first mooted. It is essential that prisoners have visitors and people keep in touch with them. This assists them in returning to their communities or society down the road. A letter or a card is always welcome to let them know that no matter what the crime they are still part of a family.

When a prisoner arrives in prison for the first time they state that it is a shock to the system. Prisoners also state that Prison officers wouldn’t be the friendliest of individuals, and don’t have much respect for prisoners. When you arrive at the reception your clothes and belongings are taken from you and you are issued with prison clothes – cheap jeans, a white t-shirt, a cheap shirt and underwear. You get clean bedclothes, a towel, soap and a toothbrush and you are brought to your cell. A prison block is a bit like a block of flats – noisy. You can hear televisions and music playing and prisoners calling out to each other. Prisoners are nervous, not knowing what lies ahead and wondering what other prisoners would be like. They feel unsafe and at risk.

The day starts at about 8.15am when cells are unlocked to allow inmates to collect breakfast to eat in their cells. They are locked back in until 9.15am, after which they attend workshops or classes, see visitors or exercise and do the chores allotted to them. Prisoners return at noon, for lunch, which they are locked into their cells also to eat. At 2.15pm they are allowed out for more structured activities: school, workshops, and visits. Tea is served at 4 pm when prisoners are locked into their cells until 5.20pm.  Unlocked for 2 hours recreation in the ‘rec’ room until 7.30pm. The ‘rec’ is usually a couple of grim smoke-filled rooms with 2 pool tables and some telephones. You get one 6 minute call a day. The prison officers stand guard outside. After the two hours of recreation, their cells are shut again at 7.30pm. In total, they can spend eight hours a day out of their cells.

After breakfast, they unlock prisoners who appear on the landings, brushes, and mops are grabbed, bins emptied, chat and talk. You look around, you know no-one, you’re out of place, you just want to go back into your cell and bang out the door. But you can’t, you must go out, you’re sent out, out to the yard. Just take the Midlands prison, as elsewhere,  the yard is grim. 30m x 30m of black tarmac surrounded by high concrete walls and steel fences topped with razor wire. The ground is filthy, stained with dirt and spit. Many prisoners spit a lot, even inside the prison. There’s a toilet in the corner of the yard. It’s filthy. There’s a water tap there too but it’s broken. The morning session in the yard is long. 2½ hours till lock-up for lunch at 12 noon. Some prisoners walk, in circles, some play cards or just sit and stand around chatting and smoking. Everyone looks tough and hard, as most prisoners are a dangerous looking lot. You pick someone out to talk to, to walk with, so as you’re not on your own. You’re nervous, struggling for things to say, wanting to just be like the other prisoners. You’re careful when you look at people and make sure not to bump into anyone. You’re vulnerable and careful not to make any wrong moves. Violence erupts at the least thing. Frustration and anger is part of the vast majority of prisoners.

Some prisoners are called from the yard for school, the gym, a visit, or a visit to the Governor. These are options for all, and you make a mental note of every bit of information coming your way. Back out to the yard again from 2.30 till 4 pm and locked in for tea until 5.30pm. Unlock at 5.30pm for 2 hours recreation in the ‘rec’ room until 7.30pm. The ‘rec’ is a couple of grim smoke-filled rooms with 2 pool tables and some telephones. You get to make one 6 minute phone call a day. The prison officers stand guard outside.

In Ireland, murder carries a mandatory sentence of life imprisonment. A life sentence in Ireland may last for the natural life of the convict. It is not necessarily “life imprisonment” in practice, as not all of the life sentence is generally served in prison custody. The granting of a temporary or early release of life-sentenced prisoners is a feature of the Irish prison system handled by the Minister for Justice and Equality. In deciding on the release from prison of a prisoner sentenced to life imprisonment, the Minister will always consider the advice and recommendations of the Parole Board of Ireland. The Board, as of 2007, will normally review prisoners sentenced to life imprisonment after seven years have been served; however, the sentencing judge can extend this to a maximum of 30 years or order that the prisoner is to spend the remainder of their life in prison.  The Parole Board of Prisons tries to find suitability for parole. The board looks at things like psychiatric evaluations, disciplinary records, supervisor reports, vocational training, education certificates, self-help participation, parole plans, and letters of support. They will also ask questions to determine if the prisoner has gained insight into what caused factors that led to the crime, what have been done to address those issues, and plans for making sure it never happens again.  You learn very early on what an uphill climb lay in front from the other lifers who had already received several denials from the Board.  Only a handful of lifers were being found suitable for release, and even some of them had their dates taken back by a reversal of a decision from the Governor. For a lifer who is trying to earn his freedom, and not all are because many are still caught up in their addictions and criminal thinking, the margin for error is razor thin. Any rule violations from a fistfight to a dirty urinalysis test could be grounds for a parole board denial and add several years to your sentence.   All infractions or breaking of rules are documented in a lifer’s C-file and usually result in them receiving a denial. Currently, the Board is looking for a 5 to 10-year span of disciplinary free behaviour before finding a lifer suitable for parole. Prisoners serving very long sentences, including life sentences, are normally reviewed on a number of occasions over a number of years before any substantial concessions are recommended by the Board.  The final decision as to whether a life sentenced prisoner is released rests solely with the Minister, and as such, the length of time spent in custody by offenders serving life sentences can vary substantially.

Of those prisoners serving life sentences who have been released, the average sentence served in prison is approximately 12 years. One year in jail equals 12 months. However, every jail calculates something they call “good-time credits” which usually ends up shaving a certain number of days off per month served. This varies from one jail to the next.

In 2015, there were around 350 people serving life sentences in Irish prisons and another 76 ‘lifers’ walking the streets.  As we are all too familiar with, a life sentence in Ireland does not mean life behind bars, with the average life sentence lasting approximately 18 years or less with remissions. But there is a handful for whom the term has encapsulated most of their lives. The longest-serving prisoners are two of the country’s most notorious killers. John Shaw and Geoffrey Evans told Gardaí that they planned on abducting and killing a woman in Ireland every week. They murdered twice before they were caught. Shaw, now aged 71, is still alive and in prison almost 38 years later. Evans died in jail. It is understood that Shaw is looking for day release. Ireland’s longest-serving prisoner is octogenarian Jimmy Ennis, who has been institutionalised for much of his life. Life sentences have become a lot longer with prisoners now spending more than 20 years behind bars before release. ‘Lifers’ served less than eight years, on average, between 1975 and 1984 — but their time behind bars has tripled to an average of 22 years. The tougher approach to prisoners serving life has been revealed by law lecturer Diarmuid Griffin.  His findings will surprise those who mistakenly believe that life sentences are considerably shorter than they are in practice. Ireland has the third highest rate of life-sentence prisoners in Europe per capita. The mandatory nature of sentencing is questionable but what’s the alternative, asks Diarmuid Griffin. Life imprisonment is on the up. In 2016, one in every nine sentenced prisoners was serving a life sentence.

Curiously, the ever-increasing life sentence prisoner population comes at a time when the overall prison population is decreasing. There has been a fall in the prison population since 2014, due in part to a more strategic approach to prison policy.  Despite this, there are 213 more life sentence prisoners in custody today than in 2001, an overall increase of 153%.

Recent data released by the Council of Europe showed that Ireland had the third highest rate of life sentence prisoners as a percentage of the overall prison population in Europe.  Nine of the 10 female ‘lifers’ are at the Dochas prison, on the Mountjoy campus,  with the remaining female serving her term at Limerick prison. Although Ireland has no sex register, sex offenders must contact the local Garda station when they move to an area and notify the Garda of any change in their living circumstances or plans to travel abroad.

Those who work in the prison do so for around six hours a day for less than 10.00 euro pay per week. The type of work varies, and there are a number of opportunities available. Other than the essential security of the prison, just about everything else is done by inmates. That includes cleaning, painting, cooking, laundry and general jobs. Prison industry could be anything from making clothing, items for charities, crafts, and arts. The work is very mundane. There were benefits to working – it was something to do, and even menial tasks helped to pass the time. Locked up for at least 16 hours a day can be claustrophobic, but when your door banged out, no-one would bother you and you were safe in your own world.

No prison is drug-free, with Castlerea probably the least affected. Heroin is readily available and often prisoners become addicted while in the confines of the prison.  Mountjoy, for example, is meant to be the worst prison for all kinds of drugs. It is a dangerous place, a  challenging jail. Men in Castlerea smoke the odd joint and smoke heroin when available to get them through the long nights, the long months and the long years. The jail goes through phases when there are drugs to be had in the prison and phases where things are quiet. Education and training are available to long-term prisoners at the prison schools and workshops, Open University included.  Lifers talk about the ‘prison warehouse’. I’m convinced that most murders are committed by accident. By that I mean they are not planned. It is anger out of control. Circumstances give rise to a fight and someone ends up dead. Next morning they are full of remorse. A conviction for murder is an automatic life sentence. It’s possible to be released on parole after 16 years or so.

The Parole Board won’t even meet you till you’ve done at least 7 years. A successful achievement on an anger management course is just one of the requirements set by the board. Lifers talk about simply being warehoused in the meantime with little interest shown in their welfare or early rehabilitation. They are just locked up away from society.  The recent ‘Report on an Inspection of Limerick prison’ Judge Michael O’Reilly making scathing reports that are damning. I’m surprised more prisoners don’t sue the Prison Service and the Minister for Justice for breaches of human rights, rights which remain lawfully attached to prisoners, despite the deprivation of their liberty. On the 7th April 2017, St Patrick’s Institution was subsumed into Mountjoy Prison. This was supposed to be done many years before on account of the inhuman conditions there.

People assume prisons to be dangerous places filled with dangerous men. If things boiled over that would be true. There are no shrinking violets in prison. Prisoners have to be selfish to protect themselves and they will fight, gangs do look out for each other. Fights are common enough in every prison and a lot of them take place in the yard while on recreation. It’s normally the younger men that fight when tensions rise and their mates stir it up. You always know when there’s going to be a fight. Things go very quiet in the yard and people start sitting down, watching. There are normally one or two lads winding up some lad to fight some other lad because of what someone said or did. Inevitably two lads stand up to punch or kick to the ground. A ring forms around the fighters and there are some hard punches thrown. The prison officers radio around the jail for support and the fight is broken up in minutes if not seconds. Prison officers encourage men to shake hands. It’s rare enough that a serious fight resulting in serious injury will happen, but it does happen. Men may fight in their cells and things can kick off anywhere.  Bullying goes on. What happens in the prison generally stays in the prison. It’s illegal to assault someone or to have mobile phones or drugs. But punishment is confined to the prison in the form of withdrawal of privileges or sometimes a lengthening of a sentence. Prison officers don’t go telling tales to the police.

The job of Governor is increasingly more difficult. Dealing with self-harm and assaults on prison officers are part of the job, but the biggest stress is a constantly overflowing volume of work.  Governors are leaving the profession and Prison Officer numbers have been cut. At the same time, the number of incidents that have to be dealt with, including attacks, suicide attempts and instances of self-harm, has increased. In the year to September 2014, there were 1,958 serious assaults in prison – an increase of 33% on the previous year. That figure includes 431 attacks on prison staff. It all makes for an increasingly demanding job.

As Governors, they are expected to possess a wide range of skills, from incident control to personnel management. It also helps to have some knowledge of medical law and to have the people skills to deal with everyone from a violent prisoner to a judge. Governors are contracted to work 37 hours a week, but almost all work significantly longer hours, without overtime, just to meet the minimum demands of the job. Some stress is healthy, but the frequency of incidents and the increase in the volume of work means that all prison staff find themselves being stressed beyond what can be acceptable, which results in Governors and prisons officers leaving to become train drivers or some other less demanding life. Some prisons are more stressful than others, but all are subject to the same degree of public scrutiny, particularly if something goes wrong. If you think about the lives of those who man the prisons, they also spend 8 hours locked stressful conditions that can erupt at any time, you must always be on your own guard. They control the most violent and disturbed people in this country for the safety of all citizens. And deserve our sincere thanks.

Peg Hanafin MSc. Rehabilitation/ counsellor/ Psychologist  14/7/18

 

 

 

 

 

Heroin and its affects

1 Wake up call about heroin

In 2012 the annual report by the European Monitoring Centre for Drugs and Drug Addiction has stated that Ireland has the highest numbers of heroin users, along with Latvia, Luxembourg, and Malta in Europe. They state that we have 30,000 citizens addicted to this dangerous and overpowering drug.  In the EU the average rate of heroin deaths per one million people is 21. For Ireland, it is a staggering 68, three times that of the average.  For many years heroin was confined to Dublin, but that is no longer the case as heroin is freely available in every town and village throughout the country. The official name for heroin is Diamorphine and is made from morphine which comes from the opium poppy. It is usually a brown/white powder, smells acidic, and is usually mixed with substances like talcum powder, sugar, starch, or even powdered milk.  Recently it was found that dealers in Dublin mixed rat poison and strychnine to bulk up the heroin.

Heroin is either smoked, sniffed, or dissolved in water and injected. The effects of heroin last for up to three hours with the initial rush followed by a dreamlike state of peacefulness and contentment.  Pain is reduced as are aggressive tendencies and sexual drive.

First-time users, especially if the mix is infected, cause severe nausea, vomiting, and blinding headaches.  Experimenting with heroin is a risky business because it is highly addictive.  Larger doses of heroin can lead to drowsiness and can result in overdose and coma. It can and often is fatal and if you take heroin regularly you may build up a tolerance but if you stop taking it, even for a few days, your tolerance levels will drop rapidly and there is an added risk of overdose on the same amount. If alcohol is added to the equation an overdose is more likely.

The alarming fact is that the HSE has admitted that in some parts of our country there is no treatment available.  West of the Shannon there are no facilities for heroin users to get treatment.  Dr. Cathal O’ Sulliobhan of the HSE has said we are sitting on a “time bomb” where a mini HIV epidemic could easily become a reality, due to the sharing of needles and other equipment associated with injecting heroin.  There are approximately 9,200 Irish people on Methadone, ( which is commonly used to treat heroin or other opiate addiction and reduce the harsh withdrawal symptoms)  leaving 21,000 without help or care for their addiction. Less than half the General Practitioners in the country can prescribe methadone, but methadone has its own dangerous and fatal problems with 113 users dying in 2011.   There is a Pharmacy needle exchange programme with over 90 pharmacies offering assistance but this is nowhere near adequate to address this escalating problem.

An attitude exists suggesting that all people with a drug problem are criminals, rather than a person having a dependency issue, who have turned to crime to support and fund their addiction.  There is ample information to be found about heroin and its dangers.  Those who are using heroin are in daily danger of overdosing and dying or living a life of misery and challenge. Heroin is derived from the opium poppy and its abuse and dependence produce side effects which may result in a range of detrimental health problems like:

heart problems including infection of the heart lining and valves: infectious diseases like HIV, Hepatitis B, and C: chronic pneumonia and other pulmonary diseases: blood clots or tissue death, resulting in collapsed veins: bacterial infections; liver disease: arthritis and seizures.  Short-term physical effects also include depressed respiration, (shallow breathing) clouded mental functioning, uncontrollable feelings of itching or picking at the skin.

Because of the uncertainty of the heroin mixture that is bought from street dealers, addicts never know the strength of the heroin they are using or what it is mixed with.  Addicts are in constant threat of overdose or poisoning from heroin causing death. Another major problem is the growing tolerance of the use of heroin leading to the need for increases in the frequency and quantity of heroin consumption to get the same buzz and adds to the problems of the addict.

Symptoms of heroin abuse and addiction give definite physical symptoms like weight loss, needle track marks visible on the body, infections, and abscesses at the injection site, cuts, bruises or scabs from skin picking and for women the loss of a menstrual cycle.  Behavioural signs of heroin abuse and addiction include: lying and other deceptive behaviour, avoiding eye contact, increased hours of sleeping, increased slurred, garbled or incoherent speech, lack of performance at school or at work,  vomiting and diarrhoea, decreasing attention to hygiene and physical appearance, loss of motivation, withdrawal from friends and family and seeking out others not usually their associates, lack of interest in hobbies, stealing money or valuables to sell,  hostile behaviour towards loved ones including blaming and shouting obscenities, regular comments  indicating loss of self esteem and worsening body image, wearing log sleeves or pants even in hot weather to cover needle marks.

Heroin abuse is an extremely serious condition and requires specialists experienced in chemical dependency detoxification to deal with the patient.  Curtailing long-term use of heroin suddenly can cause serious medical complications including death. Heroin detox should not be attempted at home or without supervision from a doctor who understands dependence and withdrawal.

For an addict detoxing from heroin is the biggest battle that will ever be fought to get back to a life without heroin, but if you continue, then the prospects of death hang close-by every day and the only life you have will be controlled by the seeds of the opium poppy. It is extremely difficult to withdraw from using heroin and withdrawal symptoms start around 8 to 24 hours after the last fix. Symptoms are aches, tremors, sweating, chills, anxiety, irritability, loss of appetite,  muscular spasms, hot and cold sweats, cramps, sneezing and yawning, runny nose, diarrhea, fever, insomnia and crying.

If you are living or are looking at a loved one in the throes of heroin addiction, you should seek help for yourself, as the effects of the abuser will impact on your own life and make living full of anxiety and fear.  Any person addicted cannot be helped until they themselves want to quit and often the wait for that day is painful and extremely difficult.  But recovery is possible for everyone if they want it.

Peg Hanafin, MSc.Psych/ Rehab Couns.

Anticipation

Anticipation  

Think how happy you feel when you are looking forward to something, whatever that may be. Research has shown that anticipating something can be a powerful, positive emotion that can help us live happier lives. Anticipation is a feeling of excitement about something that is going to happen in the near future.  People enjoy looking forward to things much more than looking back on them afterward. The enjoyment people glean from anticipation is also an important component of life satisfaction. To enjoy one’s life, one needs a belief in a hope for the future and to be able to suffer the pain of deferral of immediate gratification. Imagine if you had nothing at all to look forward to in life? You would likely be very miserable, upset, and even depressed. It is very hard to find the will to live if you cannot imagine that there is something positive waiting for you in the future.

Waiting may not be your favourite activity, but science and psychology both agree that if you can turn it into positive anticipation—an expectation of something good to come—anticipation can be beneficial for your mind, emotions, and even your physical health, and is a skill worth learning. Dr. Paul Hokemeyer, a Manhattan psychiatrist, suggests that learning to anticipate is a sign of maturity. “Our mind enables us to make sound decisions that enhance our being in the world, and keep us from acting in compulsive and destructive ways,” he says. To reap the benefits of anticipation, you have to learn how to delay gratification. “There are physical and emotional benefits to delaying gratification. When you anticipate something you want, even if you don’t know what the outcome will be, you activate your brain’s reward centre.  Of course, the other side of anticipation is anxiety. A lot of times people are afraid to anticipate because they don’t want to be disappointed.  Anticipation is based on a sense of personal hope and control. In a state of anticipation, we enjoy a sense of control over our lives. Anticipation also teaches you patience, and reveal how well you deal with a fear of not getting what you want.

All experts agree that there is more benefit than harm to anticipating good things, even if they don’t come to pass. The phrase waiting in anticipation is still used widely. Anticipation means the excitement, of waiting eagerly for something good you hope is going to happen. Anything that you are looking forward to, can be made even better by letting your anticipation build up.  A healthy amount of “anticipation” can be a very powerful emotion that has the potential to improve our lives. If you find it hard to think of something to look forward to, then why not create something to look forward to? Make plans: we all need something to look forward to. Find something to make your future look a little brighter and happier – and relish in the anticipation of good things to come.  In fact, a healthy sense of “anticipation” can often help energize our lives, and even help us get through tough times.  When we find ourselves in those less-than-ideal present moments, having something to look forward to in the future can give us the motivation and persistence to move forward even during those difficult times.

 

 

 

 

leaders

A leader 

Being a good leader is not easy, and requires many skills to carry out their role effectively. The best leaders exhibit certain qualities that make them hugely successful. They must have clarity, vision of what is needed and decisiveness. Courage is both something you can develop and something that is blessed as a virtue and passion is inspirational when seeing someone who cares about what they do. Humility and confidence are very attractive traits in leaders, there is nothing like a humble character for creating a lovable persona. Great leaders admit when they are wrong and take criticism as an opportunity for growth. They show great consistency with their decisions, rarely backing out or changing their minds unless it is absolutely necessary. While a leader’s actions may be scrutinized when things are going bad, it is their leadership qualities that shine through in the worst of times. It is these same qualities that others look up to, respect, and work very hard for. Great leaders have vision, courage, integrity, humility and focus, along with the ability to plan strategically and utilise the cooperation and wisdom of other team members. One of the more important qualities of a good leader is courage, because there is no certainty in life every commitment you make and every action you take entails a risk of some kind. The more a leader can contain their self importance, the more realistic they are about problems. They learn how to listen, and admit that they don’t know all the answers and can learn from anyone at any time. Pride doesn’t get in the way of gathering the information they need to achieve the best results. It doesn’t keep them from sharing the credit that needs to be shared. Great leaders are those who are strong and decisive but also humble in acknowledging mistakes.

Humility doesn’t mean that they are weak or unsure. It means that they have the self-confidence and self-awareness to recognize the value of others without feeling threatened. This is one of the rarer attributes – or traits – of good leaders because it requires containment of one’s exaggerated sense of importance. People who positively impact the world, not only obtain amazing results in their work, but their process of obtaining these is also inspiring and uplifting. They are happy to help and support others, and enrich the lives of everyone they connect with. They walk away from opportunities that may be hurtful and damaging to others, but be beneficial to themselves. They know that those unethical, demeaning or destructive approaches go against the very meaning and purpose in the upright life they are committed to.  Inspiring others is the mark of an effective leader and motivation is best done by example and guidance, not by issuing commands. Sadly, it is a common occurrence in powerful positions today, to witness power and influence being wielded as a weapon. It hurts and destroys. Positive leaders use their power well and wisely. They understand the influence they have to elevate, or tear down. Those who impact the world are careful and cautious with their words, actions and behaviours. They operate with understanding, and care deeply about how they are communicating and the influence they have. They take leadership seriously, as a special honour not to be flaunted or misused.

 

Debt

Debt

Those suffering from debt feel a combination of shame, disgust, depression, embarrassment, anger, and anxiety. Dept causes physical and emotional problems and for poorer people getting into debt and unable to pay, have many other negative side effects as well.  For any person, debt is like a constant fear that never goes away. It persists until you take action. Debt causes a great deal of suffering and pain to those who have trouble paying their bills late, or not at all. Immunity against debt is non-existent, everyone is susceptible. We saw that happen during the recession when the wealthiest of people lost out to large debts. Although unfortunate, thousands of people daily need to file bankruptcy, seeking protection from the law from banks and money owed, especially if it is for large amounts.
We all have known honest people who go into debt and who resorted to stealing, cheating, and lying in efforts to hide or eliminate their debt to perhaps save face from family and peers. The despondent feelings drive many people to self harm and even suicide. A person in debt may face eviction from their home because they have the inability to pay. In some ways that is different from running up debts beyond your means, and buying things you “want” rather than what you “need”.
To add to the lack of available money each month, creditors may sue and seek a judgment to have your wages garnished. Essentially, the judge has given your employer in order to make the payment directly out of your pay cheque to the creditor you owe. This is money you will never even see, because it comes out instantly.
Even the happiest of people can find the pressure and embarrassment of debt too much to handle. The pressure from creditors may be relentless, it starts with mail and telephone calls at all hours of the day, then it can lead to losing their possessions, such as their car, or other goods on hire purchase. Their inability to eliminate their debt drives them to suicidal thoughts and believing it is the only way out. Debt starts out as a good thing, allowing us to live the life we may not otherwise be able to live but cannot afford. No one has the luxury of endless spending of limited resources, though many act as if they do. They spend compulsively while ignoring their deteriorating position. They put off dealing with bills until some outside event like credit is denied, the threat of foreclosure, legal action, harassing phone calls from debt collectors that all forces change. Underestimating how much you owe, not answering the phone when you suspect a collection agency is calling, or leaving bills unopened or just stuffing them in a drawer promising yourself you will take care of them later, these are all danger signs and need to be attended to.  Opening a new credit card when your old one is maxed out and telling yourself that everyone is in the same situation, is a hazard everyone can do without. The problem is reality always sets in, then stress manifests itself in obvious ways – lack of sleep, loss of focus, a nagging worry. “Earn a pound, spend a pound and a penny, trouble, earn a pound, spend 99 pence, happiness”.

 

Debt

Debt 20

Those suffering from debt feel a combination of shame, disgust, depression, embarrassment, anger, and anxiety. Dept causes physical and emotional problems and for poorer people getting into debt and unable to pay, have many other negative side effects as well.  For any person, debt is like a constant fear that never goes away. It persists until you take action. Debt causes a great deal of suffering and pain to those who have trouble paying their bills late, or not at all. Immunity against debt is non-existent, everyone is susceptible. We saw that happen during the recession when the wealthiest of people lost out to large debts. Although unfortunate, thousands of people daily need to file bankruptcy, seeking protection from the law from banks and money owed, especially if it is for large amounts.
We all have known honest people who go into debt and who resorted to stealing, cheating, and lying in efforts to hide or eliminate their debt to perhaps save face from family and peers. The despondent feelings drive many people to self harm and even suicide. A person in debt may face eviction from their home because they have the inability to pay. In some ways that is different from running up debts beyond your means, and buying things you “want” rather than what you “need”.
To add to the lack of available money each month, creditors may sue and seek a judgment to have your wages garnished. Essentially, the judge has given your employer in order to make the payment directly out of your pay cheque to the creditor you owe. This is money you will never even see, because it comes out instantly.
Even the happiest of people can find the pressure and embarrassment of debt too much to handle. The pressure from creditors may be relentless, it starts with mail and telephone calls at all hours of the day, then it can lead to losing their possessions, such as their car, or other goods on hire purchase. Their inability to eliminate their debt drives them to suicidal thoughts and believing it is the only way out. Debt starts out as a good thing, allowing us to live the life we may not otherwise be able to live but cannot afford. No one has the luxury of endless spending of limited resources, though many act as if they do. They spend compulsively while ignoring their deteriorating position. They put off dealing with bills until some outside event like credit is denied, threat of foreclosure, legal action, harassing phone calls from debt collectors that all forces change. Underestimating how much you owe, not answering the phone when you suspect a collection agency is calling, or leaving bills unopened or just stuffing them in a drawer promising yourself you will take care of them later, these are all danger signs and need to be attended to.  Opening a new credit card when your old one is maxed out and telling yourself that everyone is in the same situation, is a hazard everyone can do without. The problem is reality always sets in, then stress manifests itself in obvious ways – lack of sleep, loss of focus, a nagging worry. “Earn a pound, spend a pound and a penny, trouble, earn a pound, spend 99 pence, happiness”.

 

Decisions

Decisions 25

All of us are confronted with various decisions to make on a daily basis. Some are small and of minor consequence, while others are challenging and potentially life-changing. Making good decisions is one of the hardest but most important things we do. In fact, anything that happens down the line can be seen as a direct consequence of earlier decisions.  Some are simple and obvious choices; others are more difficult and painstaking. For every option there are going to be advantages and disadvantages. Successful people approach decisions differently; they have a methodical way of looking at choices and understand there are no guarantees in life. You can never know for certain and in advance whether a decision will be correct, therefore, you must be prepared to take risks.  It is also important to recognize when your ability to make good decisions is vulnerable, such as when you are in a hurry, your pride is at stake, angry, lonely, rejected, inebriated, or tired. Successful people know when they are not in a good place to make a decision, and they say, ‘Let me sleep on that,’ or ‘Let me think about that. I’ll get back to you”. Making a decision when you are not in the right frame of mind leads to consequences. Consequences pile up and turn into regret. Regret has a big impact especially if it is due to bad decision-making. When successful people review disappointments, they learn from them and then they are done with them; they forget them.  Successful people are not willing to let others take control. If we make our own our decisions, we get what we choose. Good things come to those who decide.

Complex and difficult decisions need a process we can follow to help us come up with a good solution. Identify the decision to be made as well as the objectives or outcome you want to achieve.  Do your homework. Gather as many facts and as much information you can to assess your options.  Brainstorm and come up with several possible choices. Determine if the options are matching your values, interests and abilities. Weigh the probabilities or possible outcomes. In other words, what is the worst that can happen? What will happen if I do A, B or C and can I live with the consequences?  Sometimes when you match the pros against the cons you may find them dramatically lopsided. Look for opinions and obtain feedback from those you trust or have had a similar situation to contend with. There may be some aspects you haven’t thought about. Make the decision and monitor your results. If you make a mistake view it as an opportunity to learn what didn’t work and examine why. Many times decisions are reversible and you can change your mind. Sometimes people become so paralyzed with the fear of making a wrong decision that they panic and lose sight of what they are trying to accomplish. This hinders making any decision. Once you have made the decision, stick to it. At the very least, you will have learned important lessons. Do not underestimate the power of intuition, or your gut feeling. Decisions are crossroads. Life does not happen to us; we are an active participant. We get out of life what we choose.

 

Imagination

Imagination 

As adults we have been forced into a world of responsibility and practicality where money, bills, and jobs that many hate, the places we are forced to live in and dictate how we live, breathe, and experience the world. Dreaming of what could be allows us to tap into our imaginations reminding us what it feels like to be passionate about something. Somewhere along the line we have lost that connection to passion and purpose in life and replaced it with survival and responsibility.  It is a fact that thoughts must happen before things happen and our imagination is the very thing that helps make that possible.  Imagination is the ability to form a mental image of something that is not perceived through the five senses. It is the ability of the mind to imagine mental scenes, like objects or events that do not exist, are not present, or have happened in the past. Scientists and creative people have this amazing gift for thinking outside the box and allowing their imaginations the freedom to grow and evolve their thoughts, many of which have created products that have changed the way we live entirely. Without this creative power we may never have had the internet, smart-phones, airplanes, electricity, cars, television and all the other amazing technology we rely on every day. Imagination is the key ingredient to expansion and the advancement of our world. Watching the news and hearing about the violence, crime, sickness, and sadness in the world is enough to make anyone believe that things are falling apart. By falling into the trap of believing that this is just the way the world works, we become a victim and let go of all the dreams we try to achieve. Reality is merely an outward expression of what we have chosen to accept and focus on in the world. But when we turn our thoughts to that which we want to create in our lives, the possibilities are endless. With imagination  why would we waste it focusing on the mundane when we could dream of what the world might be. We have the power to create so much more and it is up to us to use our imaginations to change our lives and our world for the better. The ability to imagine things spreads throughout our entire existence. It influences everything we do, think about and create. It leads to elaborate theories, dreams and inventions in any profession from the knowledge of academia to engineering, the arts, ocean science and satellites in the sky. Imagination makes it possible to experience a whole world inside the mind. It gives the ability to look at any situation from a different point of view, and to mentally explore the past and the future.  We use our imagination whenever we plan a party, a trip, our work or a meeting. We use it when we describe an event, explain how to arrive to a certain street, write a book, inventing an instrument, designing a dress or a house, or painting a picture. The creative power of imagination has an important role in the achievement of success in any field. What we imagine with faith and feelings comes into being. It is the important ingredient of creative visualization, positive thinking and affirmations.

 

 

 

 

Limitations

Limitations 

Limitations in life are just that, life.  No one is born with every skill needed but we are all born with our own unique skills.  Even those with a diversity of abilities and restrictions live in their own comfort zone, maybe with extra help but still live. We are all limited in some way, by how we think, how we act, what we know, where we are going in the future. If you want to surmount a limitation it takes effort, dedication and sacrifice. That may sound discouraging at the start, but with conscientiousness you will find ways around anything that appear to limit how you live. However, it’s in the process, the trying, failing, falling on your face but retrying and trying again that you find your success.  Success is the gift you crave in the world to make the life you want.  It’s likely not going to win you an Olympic medal, but it will fill your life with contentment, and fulfilment. One can only realize their personal limitations by constantly testing these limits. This is usually done by stepping out of your comfort zone. However when doing this, we often surprise ourselves that we are actually capable of a lot more than we assume.  Ambition, achievement striving, and risk-taking are highly valued by our society, but they can come with a price. High achievers typically believe in setting themselves ambitious goals  but how do you know when you are pushing things too far?  If you are patient, you can get what you once started out wanting. Coming to terms with and accepting that you can’t get everything you want, can be difficult. It is also possible that you don’t want it badly enough to persevere. First of all stop comparing yourself with others and learn that everybody has different skills.  There are other things which are far more important, that are easily developed, but people do not notice so readily and are so important. Maybe you are good at understanding people, maybe you are good at consoling people or maybe you are good at making friends and being there with a helping hand. There are lot of things you have but are not able to find because you are just trying to achieve what others do.  Stop looking at others. Do what you want to do. And definitely you will find something that you are good at. Just give yourself some time and you will automatically figure it out. Most of us wish we could improve certain things about ourselves. Lasting change is difficult: Many of our habits are deeply ingrained, and certain core personality attributes may not be able to be changed. But even the oldest of habits and character traits can be altered to varying degrees, as it’s never too late to change; with effort and determination, it is possible to be the person you want to be.

Admiration and praise from others only boost one’s ego. For self-respect, you do not need admiration from others. As far as your potential is concerned, you need not compare yourself with others. Every individual has got a huge potential which remains untapped. These talents surface when you become stress-free and enthusiastic.
Remembering that not to have any special unique quality, is itself a unique quality.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What is important in your life?

  What is important to your in life

“Society is a wave. The wave moves onward, but the water of which it is composed does not.”  People have not changed. The problems you are facing today are not new. And one of those problems is that we are needy. And it is a big problem because without self-reliance, you can never be consistently happy. And even though being happy is still something that is important to us, it need not determine the quality of life. Examine the following and see how reliant you are on others;  Do you think your friends should always be there for you? Do you find it difficult to be alone?  Do you feel like a nobody when people ignore you at work?  Do you feel hurt when someone doesn’t invite you to a birthday or any other social event?  It is not surprising that we are this way. It all starts when we are born. We rely on our parents to survive. And when we become adults we should become self-reliant individuals, but funnily enough, we become even more dependent on others.   In life, we always turn outwardly for everything: Happiness, advice, affection, love, approval.  We ask experts for advice. We use drugs when we are in pain. We expect others to solve our problems. It is much better to rely on yourself. Not in a selfish way, but in an emotional way. You don’t need others to be happy.  The moment we lose ourselves and our identity, we can no longer be the person we want to be. When you are needy, you only damage your relationships in the long-term. But when you’re self-reliant, you can enrich the lives of the people around you much more. Self-reliance is a skill for everyone to learn.

How often do you think or feel something and you are afraid of speaking it? That makes us afraid of confrontation. Instead of being timid, stand up and say what you think without reservation. If you want to have a voice in the world, you can’t expect that will happen smoothly. Not in an aggressive way. But when you don’t agree with something; say it.  It is always hard to speak your mind and to stand for what you believe in.  We are too quick in expressing our emotions. Nothing’s going to change when you let out all your emotions. In other words: Speaking out your emotions is not always useful. Instead, learn how to become a master of your feelings and emotions. Are you sad? Are you in love? Are you mourning? Are you just annoyed? Don’t let worthless emotions consume you. Emotions need to be kept under control.

You don’t need to travel to the other side of the world to find yourself. Your problems will always travel with you wherever you go.  Face your challenges and demons head-on. Every setback is an opportunity to test your self-reliance. Nothing is forever. We forget that in daily life as we get attached to worldly things, people, and memories.  To truly appreciate something, you have to realize that you will lose it one day. If you believe that you will live forever or that you will be loved until the end of time—you take things for granted. I owe nothing, and nothing is owed to me.  Do you freak out when you are alone for a moment? Most of us can’t stand the thought of spending a day or longer alone. Instead of your phone and texting, call a friend, go for a walk. Maybe take a book with you. Daydream a bit. There are a million ways to spend your time. You don’t need others to have a good time. Just don’t waste it

Life is a series of unrelated events and decisions. You can’t change the past. So it only makes sense to live without regret. See things for what they are. Life just happens. You will never be able to explain everything with 100% certainty and proof. Just accept it. If you are unhappy or if you want to change, just change your attitude. See things for what they are. Stop looking for it outside of yourself, you will find that you rely on yourself —not because you need it, but simply because you can.