Every experience that you have had and every person that you have met will have, in some way, influenced your values and beliefs. What we value and the beliefs we hold have a profound influence on how we think about things and how we behave. We can all help others to change a limiting belief that is empowering and offer many opportunities to people. What you hold dear and what you believe to be important to you has evolved and shaped your life. Our values are what encourage our thoughts, words, and actions. When we make decisions they are a reflection of our values and beliefs. We all have our own values, beliefs, and attitudes that we have developed from our life experiences. Our family, friends, community and the experiences we have had, all contribute to our sense of who we are and how we view the world. When you work in the community we often work with people who are vulnerable and/or who may live a lifestyle that mainstream society views as being different or unacceptable. To provide a compassionate service that meets the needs of our target groups and helps them to feel empowered and respected, we need to be aware of our own personal values, beliefs, and attitudes, and not impose our own ideas on our clients. Values are principles, standards or qualities are what we hold to be how we want to live. They guide the way we live our lives and the decisions we make. A ‘value’ is commonly formed by a particular belief that is related to the worth of an idea or type of behaviour. Values can influence many of the judgments we make as well as have an impact on the support we give clients. It is important that we do not influence client’s decisions based on our values. We should always work on the basis of supporting the client’s values.
We have all been brought up with values that include good manners and being courteous. Pride in the way you live life, but with humility. Family life and the value you hold on always being respectful, giving good example and encouraging. Values are stable long-lasting beliefs about what is important. They become standards by which people order their lives and make their choices. A belief will develop into a value when one is committed to it being important. Beliefs and values often motivate a person by defining what they see as being important. In turn, they influence a person’s attitudes, and how they behave. such as: concern for the well-being of others; respect for others; trustworthiness and honesty; compliance with the law; preventing harm to others. Beliefs in general, and values in particular are motivational. Because we tend to move towards what we value and away from what we don’t value, we put energy behind what’s important to us. When beliefs are deeply held, they often lead to black and white thinking. words such as ‘right’ and ‘wrong’, ‘appropriate’ and ‘inappropriate’, ‘good’ and ‘bad’, ‘should’ and ‘shouldn’t’ and ‘important’ and ‘unimportant’ tell you immediately that someone is talking in terms of their values. We acquire and develop them as we strive to make sense of the world. Sadly values today have eroded and we are left with questionable beliefs that are damaging to society at large.s
Every experience that you have had and every person that you have met will have, in some way, influenced your values and beliefs. What we value and the beliefs we hold have a profound influence on how we think about things and how we behave. We can all help others to change a limiting belief that is empowering and offer many opportunities to people. What you hold dear and what you believe to be important to you has evolved and shaped your life. Our values are what encourage our thoughts, words, and actions. When we make decisions they are a reflection of our values and beliefs. We all have our own values, beliefs, and attitudes that we have developed from our life experiences. Our family, friends, community and the experiences we have had, all contribute to our sense of who we are and how we view the world. When you work in the community we often work with people who are vulnerable and/or who may live a lifestyle that mainstream society views as being different or unacceptable. To provide a compassionate service that meets the needs of our target groups and helps them to feel empowered and respected, we need to be aware of our own personal values, beliefs and attitudes, and not impose our own ideas on our clients. Values are principles, standards or qualities are what we hold to be how we want to live. They guide the way we live our lives and the decisions we make. A ‘value’ is commonly formed by a particular belief that is related to the worth of an idea or type of behaviour. Values can influence many of the judgments we make as well as have an impact on the support we give clients. It is important that we do not influence client’s decisions based on our values. We should always work from the basis of supporting the client’s values.
We have all been brought up with values that include good manners and being courteous. Pride in the way you live life, but with humility. Family life and the value you hold on always being respectful, giving good example and encouraging. Values are stable long-lasting beliefs about what is important. They become standards by which people order their lives and make their choices. A belief will develop into a value when one is committed to it being important. Beliefs and values often motivate a person by defining what they see as being important. In turn, they influence a person’s attitudes, and how they behave. such as: concern for the well-being of others; respect for others; trustworthiness and honesty; compliance with the law; preventing harm to others. Beliefs in general, and values in particular are motivational. Because we tend to move towards what we value and away from what we don’t value, we put energy behind what’s important to us. When beliefs are deeply held, they often lead to black and white thinking. words such as ‘right’ and ‘wrong’, ‘appropriate’ and ‘inappropriate’, ‘good’ and ‘bad’, ‘should’ and ‘shouldn’t’ and ‘important’ and ‘unimportant’ tell you immediately that someone is talking in terms of their values. We acquire and develop them as we strive to make sense of the world. Sadly values today have eroded and we are left with questionable beliefs that are damaging to society at large.s
In any democratic country, it is the politicians who represent the aspirations, opinions and voice of the people. People elect politicians who they feel best represent what they stand for, and implement what they believe the country needs. But is this the case? If the views of the people change, or the government performs poorly, the ruling party gets voted out, and a new set of politicians, possibly representing a different ideology, again chosen by the people, are given their chance. Do they do anything different? These politicians then go on to frame laws in the legislature, depending on the people’s wishes and the party ideology. Civil Servants on the other hand, are people who have strong knowledge and experience, continuity and fixture, in certain fields of policy and governance – and know how to implement certain policies sought by the government, and what the potential problems can be. Civil Servants are chosen on the basis of seniority or merit, and are not elected by the people. Instead, they use the laws passed in the Dail to devise and see over implementable solutions that are in line with those laws. They use their experience and knowledge and years of practical implementation to bring to fruition the plans and wishes of the country’s people, which are represented and passed by the politicians and the laws that they make. Thus, it is crucial that both politicians and Civil Servants (CS) work constructively together in harmony towards the development of the nation and for equity and fairness. A politician may understand the pulse of the people and know what the people in his constituency demand – but may not be able to come up with practical solutions to properly tackle issues. These issues often require interdepartmental knowledge across a variety of social and financial issues that only a C.S. can appreciate. A CS, on the other hand, may devise idealistic or unpopular solutions without knowing what the people who will be most affected by his decisions actually expect. Maybe that is why we have so many shocking mistakes and inequality both in finances and services. There are several cases where a politician and a CS serve different, independent roles that the other cannot perform – for instance, one cannot have a politician as the head of the Law Reform, Gardai and other regulatory agencies, since they strictly require political neutrality. A good example of this would be the relationship between the Finance Minister and the Governor of the Central Bank. The Government would always like to spend a lot of money to boost economic growth, but that would lead to high inflation. Thus, the two functions of 1) boosting economic growth and 2) keeping inflation under check cannot be both given to the same person due to the conflict of interest. But does this always happen? The Government – consisting of politicians elected by popular vote – try to boost economic growth, while the Governor – headed by a non-elected, but knowledgeable man keeps inflation under control by regulating interest rates, even if that means slowing down economic growth. Both balance each other and both are necessary for developing overall healthy policies for a fundamentally strong economy. Well, if all this is the case – then why are our lawmaking politicians still performing so poorly? We must keep in mind that in a democracy the people get what they deserve. If they perform badly, it is the duty of the people to make an informed choice and bring about a change. But at the end of the day, the politician you get is the politician a majority of people wanted. No matter how dishonest he/she might be, they still serve as a representative of the people of the region – but winning an election and gaining the support of thousands of people is surely no mean feat. But charisma and popularity sometimes don’t make for good decisions. So we must ensure that good performance and integrity is the criteria that we use at the polling booth. But replacing them with non-elected people who are not answerable to the people cannot be a good solution either. So it is imperative that when you are voting for a candidate, that you choose wisely, and ensure that what they are promising are for the good of all people rich and poor and see if we can bring back a sense of dignity and respect to this small nation.
The primary purpose of a prison sentence is to punish the offender. However, we tend to forget that a family exist behind the curtains of shame, loss, anger, isolation and anxiety. The families from which prisoners come are among the most vulnerable and disadvantaged in society and the imprisonment of a family member frequently serves to further compound their disadvantage. In the face of everyday highlighted issues, the needs of prisoners and their families is not of concern the public. Furthermore, in a political climate where to be perceived as being ‘soft on crime’ can cost crucial votes, advocating on behalf of the rights of prisoners is not a wise career move for any politician seeking office. After all, prisoners have broken the law and presumably ‘gotten what they deserve, if you do the crime, you do the time. Since the abolition of capital punishment, the deprivation of an individual’s liberty through imprisonment is the most severe state sanction available in Ireland. Yet even the most cursory of examinations into the effects of imprisonment reveals a host of negative consequences for both those incarcerated and the loved ones they leave behind on the outside. Prisoners’ families, particularly their children, are often termed the ‘innocent victims’ of crime and undeserved punishment. The effects of imprisonment on families are the collateral or ripple effects of imprisonment. Families are seen as guilty by association, even though they are legally innocent and generally had no involvement in the offence. This is stigma by association. This stigma makes the imprisonment even more difficult for family members, and it can also mean that families are treated negatively by other members of their community, colleagues, the media, friends and other family members. Imprisonment tends to impose financial strain on the families of prisoners by decreasing the family income and by increasing family expenditure, due to costly visits and phone calls, and handing in money for their loved ones in prison. Visiting also involves a great deal of time, effort both physical and emotional and expense. Visiting can be quite an emotional experience, with both positive and negative feelings in the mix: for example due to the brevity of the visit saying ‘goodbye’ comes quickly, which can be distressing. The bedrock of all Christian social teaching is the protection of the dignity of human life. This principle is based on the belief that all persons are created in the image of God and thus are deserving of ‘care and attention that belong to beings of inestimable worth’. However, as research and first-hand testimonies show, imprisonment frequently has a negative and demoralising impact on both the individuals incarcerated and their families. To many in our society, the impact of imprisonment on prisoners and their families is a matter of little or no importance. The Irish Prison Chaplains observed that: Suffering is further exacerbated by a visiting routine that is far from family-friendly … The prison regime itself … does nothing to support the family unit that is shattered by the imprisonment of one of its members. The isolation that is experienced gives rise to high levels of distress for all concerned.
Parental stigmatization has been identified as one of the ways in which prisoners’ children are socially excluded and can lead to children becoming deviant themselves. The increased likelihood that children of prisoners will themselves experience incarceration has led one writer to argue that: ‘As evidence of intergenerational crime and incarceration continues to mount, every criminal justice and corrections policy affecting children of offenders should be scrutinised for its long-term implications. We do know that the majority of Irish prisoners are young, male and come from Dublin. In general, the prisoners surveyed were highly socially disadvantaged and their lives were characterised by instability. Almost a third of the prisoners came from families disrupted by desertion or separation on the part of parents. The fact is that 15% of prisoners had a father who had been in prison and 44 % had a sibling who had been in prison. 75% of the prisoners had fathered at least one child, 60% of these fathers played no active role in their families or in relationships with their children. Remembering that one of the Corporal Works of Mercy is “ to visit the imprisoned”. Do we do that as a society with Christian values?
What does it feel like to be old? Not middle-aged, or late-middle-aged, but one of the members of the fastest-growing group of people in Ireland. This is a question I have asked myself for the past couple of years, now that I am in that age group. The gradual loss of energy is one of the most unpleasant side effects of the aging process. The onslaught of old age diseases, the pain in your knees and hips are all the results of old age. The engine is wearing out and even though lucky that the mental capacity remains good. A lot of these infirmities can happen at any stage in life. Even a 30-year-old may complain that he no longer feels able to keep up with the younger guys at hurling or football.
Of course, no one should expect to be rushing around in their 70s like they did in their 20s, and yet the idea that energy levels drop as every year passes, rather like the gasoline dial on a long car journey, is misleading. In fact, many people make radical lifestyle changes in later life and find that they have as muchenergy as ever before.
The mind affects the body and the body affects the mind. If you keep telling yourself that you have no energy and can’t do this or that, do not be surprised if your body responds accordingly. Some people seem to take great pleasure in telling others how awful they feel or how much more energy they had when they were young. This is absurd. If you start to think old you willfeel old. Do not say to yourself “well, now I have turned 40 I can no longer do X or Y”. It is as if people imagine that on the morning of their 70th or 80th birthday, they can no longer do what they did the day before. Do not bow to the tyranny of meaningless numbers. If you expect to feel more exhausted at 70 than at 69, then you will.
Finally, you must embrace the time in which you are living. The older people get more inclined to live in the past, to indulge in nostalgia and reminiscing about days gone by. They try and convince themselves that everything was better when they were children. Even people in their 40s and 50s do this. Convince yourself of such nonsense and what do you think will happen? Obviously, the present will seem flat, dull, and hardly worth bothering with, if your thoughts think that way. And once that happens, your motivation goes, taking your physical energy with it. Instead, remain curious, interested in life and have a positive input. Keep up with politics, fashion, scientific advances, technology and so on.
If you wish to boost your energy levels, you must first consider the way you live. What needs to be changed? The key to boosting your energy is improving everything: diet, sleep patterns, exercise regime, and even outlook. Do not overestimate how healthy you are. We have all been guilty of wishful thinking on occasion. Sometimes we will catch ourselves thinking about a perfect future, or be looking back on things that happened through rose-tinted glasses.
This is a perfectly normal and healthy activity and one that can help to make the world seem a little more tolerable even when things aren’t going according to plan. The key is that we need to remain at least somewhat detached from this wishful thinking. In other words, we need to take it for what it is and acknowledge that it is not reality. When predicting future outcomes, all of us are prone to be somewhat overly positive. This is sometimes explained as being due to an attempt to resolve the ‘conflict’ between what we want and what we know to be true. However, it can also be described as our egocentrism, our belief that the world revolves around us – partly as a result of perspective, and as a coping mechanism to help us deal with negative realities.
The brain is a prediction machine and its purpose is to help us make the best decisions in order to increase our likelihood of survival and of passing on our genetic plusses to the next generation. This starts when we imagine the outcome we want: we want the political climate to improve, we want to be rich, we don’t want to become ill.
If we were to assume the worst and to assume that we would have no impact on future outcomes, then we would not be motivated to continue or to make positive changes in our lives. Likewise, if we were unable to imagine the future we wanted, then we would be unable to plot a course to help us achieve the best outcomes for ourselves.
Wishful thinking is not a problem in itself but can be problematic if it isn’t kept under control. As we have seen, it is normal, healthy and adaptive to spend time imagining better outcomes for ourselves and it can even be healthy under some circumstances to deny reality. There is no harm in indulging yourself in a little wishful thinking from time to time and especially once you understand the mechanisms that give rise to it. What’s important though is that you recognize it for what it is and that you always take a reality check before making any important life decisions. Positivity is a good thing but not to the point of self-delusion!
Old age will come either you like it or not, and you are lucky to have reached a long life spanning many decades. Live every day, as each day is precious and will never return. Getting to old age has many benefits. Make good use of them. You are worth it.
Compassion is not the same as empathy or altruism, though the concepts are related. While empathy refers more generally to our ability to take the perspective of and feel the emotions of another person, compassion is when those feelings and thoughts include the desire to help. Altruism, in turn, is the kind, selfless behaviour often prompted by feelings of compassion, though one can feel compassion without acting on it, and altruism isn’t always motivated by compassion.
Compassion is neither empathy nor sympathy but requires both. Empathy is responding to another person’s emotions with emotions that are similar. Sympathy is a feeling of regret for another person’s suffering. Compassion is caring about another person’s happiness as if it were your own. The challenge with this definition, however, is how easily it causes us to mistakenly infer that compassion means giving to people, and that may not be always the right thing to do. It may leave them happy for a short time but usually leaves them without the motivation to take on challenges and make changes. People often want what is not good for them like the child who wants to play outside instead of doing homework, the gambler who wants to bet what he cannot afford, the alcoholic who wants to drink, or the drug addict who want to get a drugs fix.
If our aim is to help others surmount a problem we must apply our own judgment to the actions we are asked to take on their behalf. Compassion without wisdom is dangerous and can do more harm than good. Acting compassionately may often be inconvenient, but if you find yourself sacrificing your own happiness in some significant way, you have allowed yourself to be deceived into thinking one person’s happiness is more important than another’s—your own. A wise person’s own happiness matters as much to him or her as the happiness of others—no more and no less. In fact, sometimes you may care about another person’s happiness but find that other person not only beyond your help but a serious risk to your happiness. In such cases, the person toward whom you must turn your compassion is yourself.
Many believe having compassion requires you to adopt a supportive, non-violent attitude and express only loving caring and kindness at all times. Though compassion may have to be all those things to be effective, compassion must sometimes also be harsh, tough, and truthful as to the real situation. True compassion expects no reward or recognition. If you want thanks it means you risk shifting your focus from increasing the happiness of others to the gratification of your own ego, which then risks behaviour that harms instead of help. There is no requirement that you like anyone in order to be a compassionate person. You can actively dislike someone towards whom you feel great compassion. Being compassionate may mean thinking generously about a person despite their flaws, but it does not mean pretending those flaws don’t exist. You don’t have to pretend that people don’t upset you, nor do you have to open yourself up to establishing a personal relationship with people you try to help. Genuinely wish that this person experiences something positive or healing. Even though it may be hard, focus your thoughts and feelings on giving a gift of mercy or compassion. Be consciously aware of the thoughts, feelings, and physical responses you have as you cultivate compassion, kindness, and mercy for a person.
Compassionate people are givers who never expect anything in return. They are normally referred to as kind-hearted people who have a belief that what you give to the universe is what you get in return. This is often referred to as karma.
Between the idea and the reality … falls the shadow.” So wrote TS Eliot in 1925.
The European Values Study is a pan-European research project focusing especially on values associated with work, religion, lifestyles and other issues. Its most recent data gathering exercise was in 2008, the fourth of its kind. This study focuses on changing religious values in Ireland over the span of the EVS (1981-2008) and examines the rise in secularism and the rapid decrease in church participation that brings Ireland much closer to European norms. In the 2011 census, it emerged that 84% of the people of the Irish Republic described themselves as “Roman Catholic”. The number of atheists and agnostics and diverse other faiths was up too, but Roman Catholics remained the vast majority.
If religious and social values and attitudes are changing, what are the implications for Irish society? As we become an increasingly educated society, what is happening to our value and belief systems? Does the erosion of church practice mean the erosion of values or are we simply witnessing transference of allegiance from institutions to something else? Like drugs, sex, murder, pornography, or social media. Some suggest that the reduction of care and concern for others, a reduced sense of God, and a minimised approach to things religious, along with a rise in liberalism, are not of themselves a forerunner of prosperity and joy for society; the opposite many people believe is true, and will result in decreased happiness and increased isolation especially for the elderly, the poor and the disabled. Is it undeniable that Ireland is fast becoming different from even thirty years ago, and will be different in the future? Society will have to take into account the diversity of immigrants and people disenfranchised by society. This is becoming especially true in relation to institutional religion. As the Irish let go of things deeply rooted in their culture and tradition, is this simply implying that we are becoming a “mature” nation amongst the nations of Europe? Or have we come to accept that “anything goes” at the peril of future boundaries and happiness.
When it comes to personal morality, the gap between what people say and do is often equally unclear and difficult to understand. Just look at all the lame promises from those in power to address the many problems in our country, from health, education, finances and the total lack of accountability to the detriment of taxpayers who are at their wits end to support a corrupt governance. Disapproving of a thing is not the same as not doing it. Many disapprove of the actions of others but end up doing it themselves. It is still mesmerizing to see what people in Ireland consider to be beyond the moral pale and then what they shrug off as unimportant. At opposite ends of that spectrum lie two very different worlds. One is pre-marital sex, which has clearly lost its stigma and nearly a requirement now before marriage. It is accepted by old and young that this is modern living. We look at how quickly moral values can shift once a society starts to change. It was not so long ago that Catholic Ireland would have taken a much dimmer view that this was considered unwise, unacceptable and sinful. On the other end of the scale, there is drink driving, which attracts a disapproval of the vast majority, and there is almost universal disapproval of the practice.
Though one does have to ask: has the shadow fallen once more between the idea and the reality?
In recent years an erosion of what was once an absolute requirement for public servants appear to be totally lost with neither integrity, honesty or truthfulness being given, and as work practices are questionable to the detriment of our citizens. Or how equality and justice in health services, education, and the workplace appear to be non-existent? Or the lack of services that are required for mental health, poverty, and social injustices. The total lack of compassion and truthfulness for people suffering from errors made in many organizations, including banks, hospitals, the Gardai, and our politicians. All of these equate to the erosion of morality.
We never hear any more preachers giving homilies about the Ten Commandments, The Corporal Works of Mercy or the Seven Deadly Sins. These were all recognized as a way to bring clarity to how we should live in a just society. They were the signposts for a happy and inclusive living and encouraged people not to infringe on others or cause pain. What are the values, qualities, and parameters are we leaving for another generation, or for those coming down the tracks? Is life going to be a free for all, get all you can, do what you like, abuse others or take away someone’s happiness? This is where unhappy citizens, unhappy childhoods, unhappy marriages, or unhappy families are fostered and left to decay. Or will it be too late to row back from the precipice of sinking under a non-redeemable life of lies, dishonesty, lack of accountability, deceit, and debauchery?
The time has come for every person, young or old to take stock and see if all this free-living and “anything goes” becomes the norm, and start with themselves to affect change in their own homes. When all levels of immorality and injustice will be the acceptable order of the day. It will be a very tragic day, groping in the darkness of human failure, for those hoping to live happy and fulfilled lives in the future, on this glorious island where we are lucky to live.
Peg Hanafin, MSc.
Author of Getting More out of Life, Thoughts for your Journey, Never Give Up, and I Wish I had Known. A columnist with newspapers and magazines.
When I was growing up there was never a need to use the word bored. You were always kept busy doing the little jobs you were capable of doing, from jobs around the house, to farmyard chores. My mother use to say “you can have all the brains and talents in the world, but if you are not a good worker you will never succeed”
A good worker is a valuable person in any organisation. You are only in a job an hour or less, when you will be recognised as a good worker or a slacker.
Parents now think it is their duty to give their children everything they possibly can, things that they never enjoyed when they were young. Firstly they were not available and secondly the great outdoors was all that you needed to enjoy every day. Some children are not asked to do any chores, but are allowed to spend their time on their mobile phones or computers. Parents try to compensate for the time they must spend at work rather than in the home. Both parents must work to pay the escalating bills and debts, that threaten family interaction. The effects of these actions on both parents and children are negative and are becoming a real problem. Consider some of the following points and maybe you can make some good changes in your life which will affect the rest of your life.
Society is telling us that there are so many fun things to have. The media tells us that to be happy we must have it all, big houses, big cars, ostentatious living. We must have it now, as immediate gratification is the new buzz word. Parents are getting sucked into this. This means that more parents must spend every day in the work place instead of with their families.
Who, then, is taking care of their children? Either day care facilities or, if children are old enough, nobody. Either way, children are not being nurtured in the home as much as they need to be. Parents should remember that their love for their children cannot be bought and have the most value. Parents often feel that it is a necessity to provide name-brand clothes, cell phones, game systems, entertainment systems, and what-not, all at the expense of spending communication with their children. No time to teach them values in the home, or to show their children love, qualities that will last a lifetime. If you can recognize some of your own experiences in this description, think about changing it.
Work is an essential principle, it has an amazing influence how we live and think about life. The laws of nature say that you cannot have something for nothing. “You must earn your bread by the sweat of your brow” was an old valued rule. However, society is telling you that this is not true. We are encouraged to think that we are entitled to whatever we want with no thought of working for it, or who is providing your daily bread. This is the very mindset which has driven the world’s economy to its knees. There is more than honesty involved in the principle of work. It is a fact that after you have earned your own money you value it more. You know how much work and effort it has taken to earn a certain amount of money. Once you, yourself, have put the work in, you will not be so likely to spend your money on frivolous things. You will learn that you cannot have everything and you will learn to set your own priorities. This principle should be taught to children from an early age, and if they want pocket money they must contribute to the family resources.
The value of hard work is one of the most valuable and essential lessons that parents teach their children. However, do not think that it is too late for you to learn the value of work if you have not been taught it in your home. If you get a part-time job, and are allowed to spend all your money on the extras for yourself that is a bad start in life. All earners living at home should be asked to contribute, even a small amount to the “kitty” in the house. Young adults will begin to appreciate more the things that they enjoy in living at home, and be much happier to know that they are contributing. The satisfaction that comes from earning your own way is indescribable.
This does not mean that you should drop out of school to work, or have studies interrupted, because education is also very important. The satisfaction of a job well done applies to far more than just earning money but of getting experience of things that matter in life, like being careful with your money, learning new skills and developing integrity, honesty and commitment. If you have a good work ethic, that principle will be applied to whatever you undertake, whether that is a job, school work, personal projects, or helping those around you.
Learning the value of hard work early in life will help you shape the rest of your future. Appreciation for what you have and for what others have done for you can only come by working yourself. Parents certainly have the responsibility for providing the basic necessities of life for their children. Many would argue that parents also have a responsibility to provide a stress free life for their children, but children will never fully appreciate the sacrifices their parents have made for them until they learn to work themselves.
The value of work does not necessarily have to be learned through a formal job. Children can be given responsibilities around the home to work for allowances or privileges.
The principle of the matter is that you are not given everything for nothing. Your work ethic is something you will carry with you throughout your entire life and will affect nearly every aspect of your life. If you want to be truly happy, then you need to make sure you have a good work ethic. Every employer wants a worker who is reliable, honest, flexible and capable. By always being busy and productive will give you the edge over those who are unable to work and will be noticed by both bosses and peers.
People will never know how much history or geography you know, but it only takes a short while to recognise a good worker. A good boss will recognise that maturity comes from years of life and work experience and makes for workers who get less “rattled” when problems occur. Setting an example for other employees is an intangible value many business owners appreciate. Older workers make excellent mentors and role models, which makes training other employees less difficult. Knowing when and how to communicate–evolve through years of experience. Older workers understand workplace politics and know how to diplomatically convey their ideas to the boss. So always consider yourself lucky if you have an older person lead the way while you are learning the tricks of the trade. Organizational skills among older workers mean employers who hire them are less likely to be a part of this startling statistic that more than a million man hours are lost each year simply due to workplace disorganization. Being efficient and the confidence to share their recommendations and ideas, make older workers give good example to younger inexperienced workers. Their years of experience in the workplace give them a superior understanding of how jobs can be done more efficiently, which saves companies money. Their confidence, built up through the years, means they won’t hesitate to share their ideas with management or peers. Pride in a job well done has become an increasingly rare commodity among younger employees. Younger workers want to put in their time at work and leave, while older employees are more willingly to stay later to get a job done because of their sense of pride in the final product. These are all the benefits you can learn and become a valuable cog in the wheel of any workforce.
The six “Pillars of Character”recognized and taught by the Josephson Institute of Ethics, California, are values that are not political, religious or culturally biased. But they are a good foundation for a decent and an honourable way of living that promotes integrity and honesty. Maybe it is time to look at these values, and introduce them in our schools across the country and promote and instill these values to a younger generation as a better way of living.
Let us examine the six core ethical values or pillars of character promoted by the Josephson Institute of Ethics, and seek out their value for us all.
Trustworthiness
Be honest • Don’t deceive, cheat or steal • Be reliable — do what you say you’ll do • Have the courage to do the right thing • Build a good reputation • Be loyal — stand by your family, friends, and country.
Respect
Treat others with respect; follow the Golden Rule • Be tolerant of differences • Use good manners, not bad language • Be considerate of the feelings of others • Don’t threaten, hit or hurt anyone • Deal peacefully with anger, insults, and disagreements
Responsibility
Do what you are supposed to do • Persevere: keep on trying! • Always do your best • Use self-control • Be self-disciplined • Think before you act — consider the consequences • Be accountable for your choices.
Fairness
Play by the rules • Take turns and share • Be open-minded; listen to others • Don’t take advantage of others • Don’t blame others carelessly.
Caring
Be kind • Be compassionate and show you care • Express gratitude • Forgive others, help people in need.
Citizenship
Do your share to make your neighbourhood and community better • Co-operate • Get involved in community affairs • Stay informed • Be a good neighbour • Obey laws and rules • Respect authority • Protect the environment
Wouldn’t the world be a far happier place if people lived by these values and rules? We wouldn’t have cause to be dismayed by all the scandals we are witnessing today in our country if we practiced these values as a better way of living.
Every day we are bombarded by a raft of new scandals, dishonesty and a lack of accountability from those in positions of power, trust, and care. The example being given to a younger generation leaves a lot to be desired. Even though a new report by CPI has found Ireland to be among the top 20 least corrupt countries on the planet, it does not appear that way to ordinary citizens at this point in time. While we have slipped from joint 17th position to joint 18th, this still puts us ahead of a host of other European nations, like France, Portugal, and Spain. But it still does not absolve and calls into question those in powerful positions that mismanage and erode the finances and ethics of our country.
Are these statistics realistic when we see all the corruption, dishonesty, mismanagement of tax-payers money and falsehoods that are being exposed on a daily basis to the detriment of society at large? And how is it going to be halted?
Successes will come and go, but integrity is how you live your life and the virtues you extol. Integrity means doing the right thing at all times and in all circumstances, whether or not anyone will ever know or find out. It takes having the courage to do the right thing, no matter what the consequences. Building a reputation of integrity takes years, but it takes only one misdemeanor to lose.
We live in a world where integrity is not discussed nearly enough, nor the values that should be part of how all people, whether in positions of power or just ordinary citizens, live. Every day new scandals that are gobsmacking and unbelievable are coming into the public domain. The lack of integrity and honesty from government bodies, voluntary organisations, the banking and business sector, that are causing worry, pain, and suffering to many innocent lives, leaves a lot to be desired and highlights the disintegration of values once held dear. We live in a world where “the end justifies the means” with no accountability to those who pay the piper.
Lack of honesty and integrity appears to be the acceptable school of thought and modus operandi, be they the enforcers of the law, health, justice, educational, social services, or financial systems. We look at ordinary lives where trust and respect are being eroded on a daily basis by the scandals being perpetrated by those who were relied upon and who should be giving better example to the public at large. Too many lives have been left shattered and broken by their actions. Society has been left bereft of leadership, accountability, and transparency. The rules of law and order only apply to some.
“ If it is alright for them well what’s wrong with it for us syndrome” is fast becoming a way of thinking and acting by otherwise decent people.
Integrity is being honest and having strong moral principles and being morally upright. It is a personal choice to hold oneself to having unwavering moral and ethical standards. Integrity is regarded by many people as being honest and truthful in one’s actions and words. Integrity is behaving and thinking consistently with one’s personal values and beliefs. Put another way, integrity is doing what you believe to be right, irrespective of the costs, downside, or hardships involved. What is the message being promoted today? Surely not these values that are much needed for a just and equitable society.
Having integrity means doing the right thing in a dependable and trusted way. It is a personality trait that is admirable since it means a person has a conscience that discerns right from wrong and that doesn’t waver. Some people see integrity as virtue, honesty or goodness of some kind.
Examining our own conscience
Ask yourself whether integrity has any place in your life. Assuming you want to build your own personal integrity, how about reflecting from time to time on what you believe? Come to understand yourself and your world-view a little better by self-examination. Every time you must make a choice, consider the options, even the unpalatable ones, and ask yourself which options are most consistent with what you believe. Reflect on your choice, with the benefit of hindsight, and see if it could have been done better. Did the choice feel honourable, or did it cause you some unease or some kind of contradiction of beliefs and attitudes?
Associate with other people recognized for their integrity. Their definitions of “right” and “wrong” may differ from yours, but the way they remain faithful to them might inspire you to do the same.
Discuss integrity with your family members, your peers, your workmates, your friends. Explore the issues, the trade-offs, the costs and the rewards.
The value of the trust others have in you is far beyond anything that can be measured. For you, it means having an army of people that are willing to go the extra mile to help you. The value of the trust others have in you, goes beyond anything that can be measured because it brings along with it limitless opportunities and endless possibilities.
Contrast that with the person who cannot be trusted as a person of integrity. When employers are looking for people to hire, they look for these qualities: integrity, intelligence, and energy. And if they don’t have the first one, smart employers won’t offer that person a job. A person’s dishonesty will eventually catch up with them. It may not be today, but you can rest assured that at some point there will always be a reckoning. This is what is happening in our country today.
To those who are striving for a reputation of integrity: Avoid those who are not trustworthy. Do not do business with them. Do not associate with them. Do not make excuses for them. Do not allow yourself to get enticed into believing that “while they may be dishonest with others, they would never be dishonest with me.” If someone is dishonest in any aspect of life, you can be guaranteed that he will be dishonest in many other aspects of his life also. You cannot dismiss little acts of dishonesty, such as the person who takes two newspapers from the stand when they paid for only one or hop on a bus with no ticket, or take small things that do not belong to them. After all, if a person cannot be trusted in the simplest matters of honesty, then how can they possibly be trusted to uphold the trust you place in them.
Surround yourself with people of integrity as inevitably we become more and more like the people we associate ourselves with every day. If we spend time with people who are dishonest and willing to cut corners to get ahead, then we will find ourselves following a pattern of first enduring their behaviour, then accepting their behaviour, and finally adopting their behaviour. If you want to build a reputation pick your company carefully.
A person who has lost their ability to be trusted as a person of integrity, which is the most valuable quality anyone can have in their life, is at a huge disadvantage. So how do we reclaim our integrity in the country we live in today? A tough task that remains to be seen.
As our Leaving Certificate students ponder on what course to take when they finish second level schooling in a few short months, many are bedeviled with the thoughts of what they want out of life. However, all the data available for successful people, believe that when you follow the subjects and the passion you have for some specific career, you are more likely to excel and become successful in your future.
There is no greater challenge and no greater reward than to be the master of your own destiny. The meaning of life for every person is as unique as their fingerprints, so it is important to ponder and ask yourself “Am I leading the life that I want to live, or am I being dictated to by teachers, peers, family or friends”? Are you making choices based on your values, beliefs or your own needs? Or are you living your life based on the expectations of others? Our personalities, interests, abilities, and dreams are not set in stone and we are all adaptable to change, as long as we understand what it is we want to change. In order to live your own life, you must prioritize the things in life that makes you happy and more fulfilled. Searching for your own unique path takes time, trial and error and an understanding of the journey ahead.
For many of us, just knowing what we want to do with our lives is a real challenge. However, when you define what you absolutely want will eventually allow you to reach your goal. Once you know what you want to achieve in life and set that goal, with determination and tenacity you will get there. Following your dreams and what you passionately desire, and recognizing the people in your life that you care about, is a big part of becoming happy and contented with your life.
When you are following the pathway you have chosen, the return will be far greater in your workplace or career, and you are more likely to succeed when you are doing what you really like. In a recent study, it was found that the stronger the internal motivation for doing something, rather than the external rewards, the more likely you are to succeed. In other words, when you are doing something you love, you will put more energy into it. Our identity is created by our early carers, be that parents or others, and we often try reliving their personalities rather than developing our own. That is why children reared in destructive environments carry those traits into adult life. According to Dr. R. Firestone, a person’s true identity can be affected throughout their lives by the experiences they have had, that either damage or support their personality.
In order to live our own lives and fulfill our own dreams and goals, we must distance ourselves and our thoughts from destructive family and societal influences. Most young people take on the value systems and the beliefs of the family and culture they grew up in, or they rebel and become defiant in opposition to what rules they were reared by.
To become your own person, and in order to live your own life, it is important to develop your own personal values and qualities, rather than accepting or rejecting the values and beliefs of those who reared you. When you become a mature adult, you should follow your own principles that will give your life more meaning and belonging. When you are able to differentiate the negative influences of the past, it allows you to become the person you truly are to follow your own desires and be able to live a fulfilling life. We must strive to live our own lives rather than the lives our parents, families or even what society expects from us.
It is important that you know what your own core values are and to set goals that are achievable and that you can accomplish. Write down what you want to achieve, and keep them small to make things easy to do, in the beginning. In a recent study, it showed that people were significantly more likely to reach their target if they wrote them down. Make a note of progress as there are no shortcuts to having a meaningful life. Get rid of negative thoughts, beliefs, and attitudes that diminish your self-belief and self-esteem. There will always be challenges and our own thoughts and self- critic are our own worst enemies. If you want to make changes in your life for the better, you must get rid of the inner critic that will constantly attack how you feel and think. Remind yourself that these are just critical inner thoughts that can be nasty and be taunting towards your ambitions for success.
This inner critic will infiltrate your thoughts with a long list of how or why you cannot attain success, so you must break free from those negative thoughts and develop positive thoughts about how you are going to be successful. The inner voice often tries to undermine your efforts by filling your head with self-doubts or encouraging procrastination. These thoughts often hone in on your weak spots and undermine your confidence. Believing in your personal power is essential if you want to live your own life. When you believe in your strengths, have confidence and acknowledge your competences, you will realize you have all the requirements needed to be successful and master of your own destiny.
Here, are 7 tips to help you improve your life:
Be grateful for what you have. Start your day the night before.
Be ready to grow up. Drop the attitude. 5. Don’t ignore your emotions, but remember that feelings aren’t facts. 6. Watch out for negative thinking. 7. Set up and stick to a routine.
