The Golden Rule is “do unto others what you want others to do unto you” or “don’t do unto others what you don’t want done unto you”.
One of the highest forms of disrespect is deceit, especially from a trusted friend, family, business partner, or partner in life. Being disrespectful can range from being dishonest in our words and actions, to deception and cheating. Some people never learn to be respectful of people. Some may have had a bad day or in a bad humour and take it out on others not bothering with being polite or courteous. Some think that they are superior to you and speak in disrespectful tones. They think that by being disrespectful to others it makes them look superior, when in actual fact it diminishes them in the eyes of others who treat others with respect. They are insecure within themselves so they get an ego boost from making someone else feel inferior. The problem is, they have no self belief and if ignored they must keep doing it to feel better about themselves. They lack self-confidence and self-esteem and don’t know who they are, and sometimes do not know their place in society.
One of the reasons people disrespect another is because of the inability to empathise and to know how others feel. It also shows a lack of sensitivity, understanding and empathy. Disrespectful people often don’t realise the words they speak hurt others in an injurious way. But if one has a positive mindset they just take it as a nasty experience, rather than turn it into an emotional and personal way to respond to those stinging words. Be calm and take it that not all people have manners or dignity. Learn a lesson from it, as how not to live. Being aware of, yet completely indifferent to someone else, is the highest or lowest form of disrespect. Everyday people look at a starving, homeless person, but think nothing of throwing out the best of food when they go home. Pretending someone doesn’t exist, especially when they are suffering, is also an offence that causes hurt. People who are intolerant and have no patience can often be very disrespectful. Also other people’s erroneous perceptions about another, contributes to disrespect, especially if they feel that they are better, or suffer from grandiosity. Thinking this way is already a form of disrespect in it by itself.
Sometimes people disrespect each other out of retaliation for feeling that they themselves have been disrespected first. That can never be justified, but we do live in a world that believes that an “eye for an eye” is more gratifying than turning the other cheek. It has a lot to do with ego in which it can lead one person to believe that they are being disrespected when perhaps the other didn’t mean it that way. When someone is rude—especially if they’re making personal comments about you—makes it easy to get upset. But you always have a choice about how you react. By taking the power out of their rudeness and choosing to treat it as their problem, not your problem, will shatter their beliefs. Most rudeness is senseless, so you are better off if you can cheerfully ignore it.
If you feel like raising your voice at a rude person, don’t. Joining in the drama will only escalate the situation. Whether you are dealing with a drama queen who is doing it on purpose, or an inconsiderate idiot whose rudeness is unintentional, you can win by your own attitude. Keep your dignity intact by not letting your behaviour provoke you into a tantrum of your own. Rudeness is hurtful, but removing yourself from the situation is the fastest and surest way to avoid an escalation of disrespectful behaviour from the same person. Walk away, even if they are still talking to you! If they are a stranger, you will never have to deal with them again. If they are a friend or colleague, they will soon learn that being rude to you gets them exactly nowhere, and make them aware that you will not tolerate disrespect and maybe that will prompt them to be nicer next time. Some rudeness is a simple case of bad manners. But often, a person who is rude to you does so because they feel frustrated about something—and if it is within your power to resolve their frustration, you may see them switch from rudeness to gratitude in seconds.
Some people are rude simply because they are always rude, and know no better. Once rudeness becomes a habit, it can be difficult to shake off even if they truly want to behave better. Habitual rudeness should never be taken personally; it is just a pattern that is hard to break, especially if it is their modus operandi. You can never make someone be polite if they choose to be rude. In fact, trying to force a change in their behaviour will often make them behave worse instead of better. Sometimes your best option is to accept or ignore that their rudeness is not your fault and let them find their own solutions. Don’t let rudeness make you respond with more of the same. The best way to defuse rude behaviour is to stay friendly, calm and helpful, giving the other person a chance to adjust their behaviour to become more tolerant and courteous.
Not everyone always deserves total respect. Since being respectful is treated as synonymous with being nice, disrespect can be treated as ugliness. And yet none of us can or should respect everything and everybody equally. To do so would be to surrender our powers of discernment, of evaluating the quality of one person’s views and actions. To accuse someone of being disrespectful is itself an act of such discernment, judging one person more inappropriate than others. We can’t live by the idea of “criticize critical people” without being hypocritical ourselves. After all, in criticizing the critical we ourselves are being critical. A different way would be to disrespect ideas and actions. A total ban on disrespect is unworkable. We need a different approach to disrespect. Disrespect is not the sin it is made out to be. You must earn respect and if your actions are unacceptable well then, showing your feelings might be a more honourable and ruthful way to live. But there are many ways to skin the cat!!!!!!